Forever Changed!!

More things have begun to fall into place.  All medical exams have been completed.  Everything has been given to the social worker so she can finish our home study.  Our state police clearances came in but the format they are in will not work.  We will have to have them redone.  We have notarized copies of our passports, petition to adopt, power of attorney forms, letter of obligation, and notarized and apostilled copies of our marriage license have been ordered.  

Please be in prayer with us about the adoption process.  Vernon and I must decide very soon whether we are going to adopt one child or two children and we have to decide how to process the paperwork for the adoption.  I can’t divulge too much information on this point but God knows the answers we are seeking and we would appreciate prayers for clarity on a few points of interest.

I have had more questions come up recently in regards to why we are adopting that I would like to try to answer, but in a very round-about way.  This is a very long post, so get comfortable if you want to read the whole thing.  If you are only interested in the updates you should stop reading now because the update is listed above.

I get kind of emotional this time of the year.  See, it was 14 years ago this week that our baby girl Rebecca joined the angels in heaven.  It is hard to believe it has been that long!!  I think about how our life would be different if she had survived after her surgery.  She would probably be a real joy at Christmas.  Everybody who has dealt with people born with Downs Syndrome knows how joyful they can be and full of excitement.  I imagine that Christmas would different with Rebecca here.  Even though I wonder what life would be like with Rebecca still here, I never wonder what life would be like if we had never had her.  In the brief period of time that we had with our beautiful baby girl, she changed our lives forever.  The moment I found I was pregnant with her my life changed.  The day she was born and we were told that she had Downs Syndrome and a severe heart defect, our lives were forever changed.  The day she died our lives were forever changed.  Even though that experience was very difficult to live through, I don’t regret having walked through it.  I never think I should never have had her, I should never have had to go through that, or why me.  Instead, I thank God for giving me that beautiful baby girl to hold, to care for, and to love even if it was for such a short time.

When I am all emotional like this about Rebecca I often reflect upon some of life’s other blessings and challenges I have experienced.   My childhood was difficult, God was not invited into our home when I was growing up and our family had issues.  Major issues!!!  I had issues… still have issues.  But God placed me in a position to meet the man who would become my husband and would be the one who took me to a church where I met Jesus.  My life was forever changed.  Vernon and I dated for a year and then got married at the end of our junior year of college.  Our lives were forever changed.  We got pregnant with our first child only three months after getting married and had her only 36 hours after graduation from college.  Our lives were forever changed.  Then we had Anthony, then Mark, then Rebecca.  Each time we had children our lives were forever changed (I am not leaving Josh out; I will get to the adoption part in a minute).  I cannot imagine life without these changes having occurred.   I can’t imagine what life would be like without any of my biological children.  They are all blessed gifts sent to me directly from God himself.  The giver of life gave me my children.

Has life always been easy? NO!!!  We have faced challenges with our children over the years.  We have had to deal with some really serious issues, each one taking us to our knees in prayer.  See, no matter what came our way with our kids, we always knew God would see us through.    If you read Matthew 8:23-27 you will read about Jesus and his disciples on a boat when a storm arises.  The disciples become very afraid but Jesus is sleeping.  The disciples wake Jesus up and he calms the storm.  Most people seem to focus on the lack of faith of the disciples.  They are on a boat with Jesus, what do they have to be afraid of?  But when I was reading that I thought about Jesus and that storm.  He was on a boat in the midst of a very dangerous storm.  He could have steered them away from the storm, but he didn’t.  He could have had them wait on shore until that storm passed before they sailed to the other side, but he didn’t.  He sailed through the same storm the disciples were sailing through, on the same boat with them.  He knew that he would make it to the other side.  He could rest peacefully while a storm was raging all around him because he knew what his father had told him to do, and he was doing it.

So, how does all of this rambling tie in to adoption in my crazy mind?  Our father has told us to go to the other side.  We will make it to the other side because Jesus is on the boat with us.  We won't make it without storms, but we will rest in the knowledge that Jesus is traveling with us through the storms.  When we adopted Josh we heard clearly from God that was what we were supposed to do.  We had storms come up.  We had issues arise with one of our children that led us to cancel the adoption in 2007.  The storm was huge, we felt like our family’s boat was sinking.  We didn’t know what to do.  We cried out to God for help.  We spent several months trying to piece our life back together.  Then, a year later, I went to Ukraine and met Josh for the first time.  I knew then that God’s initial instructions were still there for us.  We had to go to the other side and do what our father had told us to do.  We knew that storms would come.  We did not know how many, or how severe, but we knew they would come.  Jesus, on the other hand… knew the storms…. knew the severity…. and knew the outcome.  He knew what was waiting on the other side.  We had to trust in Jesus and let him walk us through it all.

Our son has had some life changing events just as serious as those I mentioned earlier about our family (before adoption).  The day his mother died, his life changed forever.  The day he was dropped off at the orphanage, his life was forever changed.  All of the harsh treatment, the things he had to endure as a young child growing up with no parents and no support changed him.  He experienced a very difficult youth and in some ways it shows very clearly.  When we finally made it to the other side of the ocean to pick him up he was uncertain.  He had weathered so many storms in his short life that he had to evaluate whether he was up for this kind of challenge.  But then….He said yes.  His life was forever changed.  Our lives were forever changed.  The giver of life had given us another child to hold, to care for, and to love. God had given Josh a family.  He was then, and forever will be, our son.  He came in a full 6 foot 4 package instead of a little baby, but a true blessing all the same.  He has a heart of gold buried under that gruff façade.  There is a lot of compassion and a sincere sweetness pouring out of his heart that only a loving God could place there.  I love watching his new life unfold in front of him and how he grasps hold of certain things while still rejecting others.  He keeps life interesting.

Now that God has once again told us to go, we are anxious to get there.  There is one child, and maybe two, who will have to choose whether or not they want to get on life’s boat with us and weather the storms we will face together.  They have experienced many things that have forever changed their lives.  They will have the opportunity to step out and accept the challenge of many more life changing events with us; or they will choose to face life without us as their family to stand beside them in the storms that life will stir up for them.  But one thing is for certain, we have been told by our heavenly father to go.  There are more children that the giver of life wants to give to us.  We want them!!  We will go for them!!  I am anxiously waiting to be able to say I cannot imagine my  life without them in it and acknowledge that my life has been forever changed.

Enjoy the Christmas Season and reflect upon the blessings that have forever changed your life.  If you haven't experienced the peace that Jesus brings into your heart, find Jesus.  We celebrate his birth at Christmas and his resurrection at Easter.  Jesus is real!!!  Jesus is alive!!! Jesus loves you!!!  Jesus wants to have a personal one on one relationship with you.  Will you accept the forever changed life he offers?  

iPad 2 Winner

I just spoke with Brett, and he definitely wants the iPad 2.  Thank you so much to everybody who donated to us via these raffles.  We sincerely appreciate your prayers and support. 

And the winner is.....

Josh drew Ms. Ruby from church as the winner for the necklace.  She was very excited to win it.  I have not been able to contact the winner of the iPad 2 so I will wait to post the winner until I have reached that person to make sure it is OK to put their name on a public blog.  Thank you to everybody who helped us by purchasing tickets for the raffle. 

Drawing is tomorrow

We will be drawing for the iPad 2 and the necklace tomorrow evening at 6.  I will call the winner and post the name of the winner on Facebook and here on my blog.  Good luck to everybody who purchased raffles and thank you for help us out with these drawings.  We know that it is the support of our friends and family that will help us get through this adoption just as it was their strengths that we relied on during our last adoption.  We will definitely need our prayer warriors to get us through again.

We finally received our FBI fingerprint results.  Now we can continue with the home study.  Document collection continues!!  Employment verifications...check.  Physical exams... two of four done.  Once we have the other two physical exams done this week we can meet with our social worker and finish the home study.  We have verification from USCIS that they have received our application for immigration of a foreign born child for adoption.  We received the letter from the tax assessor for our proof of residence.  We went to the sheriff's office on Friday to do our fingerprints for the state police clearances and put that in the mail yesterday.   We are working on an application with a church that will accept donations for us and they will be tax free.  I will post more information on that when I have it. 

God has blessed us immensely.  It is amazing to see how God takes care of even the smallest of details.  All we have to do is invite Him in and let Him take control.  God is meeting our needs just as we need Him to.

Anthony should be home for Christmas next weekend.  We certainly are looking forward to having him home for a while.  He has a rough week ahead though.  He has finals every day, beginning with physics on Monday and ending with Calculus III and Engineering Solutions on Thursday and Friday.  If you happen to think of him this week please say a prayer for him to do well on his finals.

Alex is home from her mission trip to Africa.  She said it was a life changing week in Mozambique.  I can't wait to hear the full story of what she experienced.  I am hoping we will have some time to visit with her during the holiday season. 

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas season and will enjoy great times with your family.  Don't forget to remember the reason for the season.  Celebrate Jesus!!  It was God coming to Earth as a baby, living with men as a man that gave us freedom from sin.  Christmas is not about the presents, but about the presence of God. 

I will post the results of the drawing tomorrow!!

Ornament

This is the ornament that Leslie Gordon has made for us to sell to help raise funds for the adoption.  Please let me know if you are interested in purchasing one.


The lifted event went very well.  We had a great evening in the country with a bonfire and a chance to make new friends.  Thank you everybody who helped pull that together.  Special thanks to Chris Kyzar.  I am so proud of you Chris.


We are working on trying to put arrangements together for tax deductible contributions.  I will let you know when we get that set up in case some of you might be interested in helping us out that way.  First and foremost we need your prayers as we proceed with the adoption.  We sent our fingerprints in to the FBI the last weekend in September and still do not have our results.  Please be praying that those results will come in so we can proceed with our paperwork.


Thank you so much for your support and prayers.

Letter from Ukraine

A friend of mine wrote a letter earlier in the year that really speaks of what is in her heart.  It also speaks of what is in my heart in a much better way than I could manage to write.  Please read her letter below.

Dear Friends,

This summer as I look back on the years that God has allowed me to know and love orphans in Ukraine, I have been challenged again by the words of William Wilberforce who played a huge role in ending slavery in Britain during the 1700 and 1800s:

"Having heard all this, you may choose to look the other way . . . but you can never again say that you did not know." William Wilberforce

It was 10 years ago this summer, that I first visited Ukraine. The first time I set foot in the country I knew basically nothing about the orphans who called Ukraine home. I spent two weeks at their summer camp, meeting and spending time with many children. When I left, I never expected to return, I never wanted to return. But something happened during those two weeks:

My eyes were opened to pain I had never before imagined.

I knew.

And I could not go back to not knowing.

After meeting orphans in Ukraine, I could never again say that I didn't know they existed or needed help.

I knew that I had to do something; and that I needed to ask God what that something was. It turned out to be moving to Ukraine, which I had never even considered before. Over the years my eyes have been opened to many more needs. So many children have touched my heart and force me to go to God again and again asking what my role should be. The answer is different every time.

A few weeks ago, I was faced with another need, another hurting child, another plea for help:

A girl from the orphanage came up to me and quietly asked if we could talk in private. I agreed. Later that day as all the kids walked from camp to a nearby park, this girl and I hung to the back of the bunch and she presented her request: Can you please find me a family? I really really want to be adopted and have a family! I don't have anything here. I don't have any relatives. I don't have a future. I want to have a family!

It is so hard for me to respond to this question. Everything in me cries out that this girl should have a family; that no child should have to plead for someone to love her. We talked awhile and I explained to her that being adopted is not so easy, that it is hard to adjust to being in a family, following rules, learning English etc. She said that she knew and would do her best to make it work, if only she could just have a family.

I have known this girl for several years but have never really been close to her. She is a nice girl. She is confident, smart, and has many friends and I am usually more drawn to the quiet, shy kids who are ignored and end up in the background all the time. But now here she was, begging in the only way she knew how for the one thing she longs for more than anything else - a family.

Now I knew.

I knew more than the general knowledge that all kids dream of being adopted. I heard the words come out of this girl's mouth. I saw the look in her eyes as she talked about being adopted. I saw the fear as she thought of what it would mean to stay here in Ukraine. Now I really knew and it was time for me to ask God again what I was to do with this knowledge.

I hadn't planned to write about this specific girl, in fact I didn't even plan to share her picture as I travel this fall. But then this conversation happened, and I couldn't pretend that it didn't. An orphan shared her deepest wish with me, and now I share it with you . . .





I hope that moved you as much as it moved me.  As we are coming up on Thanksgiving later this week, my heart breaks for children all over the world who do not have families to celebrate with.  They don't have a family to cook with, to share the things in life that they are thankful for, to cuddle up with and know that they are loved.  I am thankful that God has given us a love and desire to offer a home to at least one more orphan.  God is so good to us and I pray that before long she will know the goodness of God in a personal way. 

To update on where we are in the adoption process, we have mailed the immigration application.  The home study is in progress.  We cannot finish the home study until the results of the fingerprints come back from the FBI.  We have made our initial payment to the translator we will be using and he has sent us some of the forms we need to complete.  I will probably start working on some of these forms over the Thanksgiving holiday since I will have more time at home.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  I hope it is a great celebration of your many blessings!!

Video on YouTube

I found this video on YouTube.  Please watch. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhUZVVhigkw&feature=player_embedded

Necklace

Buy a $5.00 raffle ticket for a chance to win your very own hand-crafted necklace for yourself or give it to someone you love for Christmas. This hand-crafted necklace was made by Celebration's Hand-Stamped Jewelry.  The drawing will be held December 5, 2011.  All proceeds will help fund the adoption of a 15 year old girl. 

Everybody is welcome to come to the LIFTED event next weekend.  We will be there to raise funds for adopting again.  We will be selling tickets for a hand-crafted necklace made by Celebration's Hand-Stamped Jewelry, raffle tickets for iPad 2, porcelain and clay hand-crafted necklaces and a few Christmas ornaments made by Leslie Simmons Gordon.  All of these will be $5.00.  We will also be selling World's Finest Chocolate Covered Almonds for $2.00 a box.  There will be some free food and a cup of something to drink with your meal, but we will be selling some bottles of water and can drinks if you are interested.  Hope to see you there.

Apple iPad 2 Raffle

Wi-Fi, 16GB, Black

Tickets $5 each

Buy a ticket for a chance to win your very own iPad 2 or give it to someone you love for Christmas.

The drawing will be December 5, 2011.

All proceeds will help fund the adoption of a 15 year old girl.

Statistics

I asked a friend about some statistics in regards to orphans in Ukraine and another friend of mine was collecting some facts about Ukraine for her daughter’s school project.  These are some of the facts they shared with me.

After Russia, the Ukrainian republic was far and away the most important economic component of the former Soviet Union, producing about four times the output of the next-ranking republic.  Its fertile black soil generated more than one-fourth of Soviet agricultural output, and its farms provided substantial quantities of meat, milk, grain, and vegetables to other republics.

Area: Ukraine is the largest country in Europe. But it is about the size of Texas.

Terrain: Almost the entire country of Ukraine is a flat plain

Land use:  Ukraine has extremely fertile black-earth soils in the central and southern portions, totaling more than a half of the territory. According to the estimates, arable land is 56%, permanent crops: 2%, meadows and pastures: 12%, forest and woodland: 10%, other: 20%. In 1990 irrigated land was 26,000 sq. km.

Population:49,811,174

State language: Ukrainian. Other languages: Russian, Romanian, Polish, Hungarian.

Former: Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic.

Independence: December 1, 1991 (from Soviet Union).

Foods:

Varenyky - Stuffed Dumplings Mashed potato filling with onions.

Borscht - Beet base soup with some potatoes, carrots, onions and meat when available.

Orphanages in the Ukraine

Right now, there are estimated to be over 176,000 children living in orphanages in Ukraine. Official numbers vary, and it is difficult to pinpoint the exact number. Reports from 100,000 to 200,000 exist, with 150,000 being the most commonly cited number. There are officially another 100,000 in state care, such as semi-orphanages and other forms of care. Whatever the final number, the reality for these children is bleak.

Around the age of 16, orphans must leave the orphanage. There is no further funding for them to remain in the orphanage and because of overcrowding, it is not possible for them to stay longer, they are without the basic skills to protect or provide for themselves.

The statistics are extremely sad:

60 - 70% of boys leaving the orphanage will become involved in crime
60 - 70% of girls leaving the orphanage will become involved in prostitution
About 3 in 6 of these children will commit suicide before their mid-20’s, 10% to 15% will commit suicide before the age of 18.

There are two types of children who make up the orphan population in Ukraine (but we have these types of orphans in our system as well).

Full orphans:  In this situation, both of the children's parents are dead.  The child is in state care because no other family is available to care for them.

Social orphans:  In this situation, which is more common, one or both of the child's parents are alive, but either unable or unwilling to care for the child.  This can be due to a variety of reasons.  Some of the children in orphanages, perhaps 10%, still have a  living parent who hopes to live with them again one day.  These children live at the orphanage until their parents can find a way to support them.  Sometimes these parents visit children or take them home on weekends, and sometimes this is not the case.

Why so many orphans?

Ukraine is a country in Eastern Europe, in 1991 it achieved independence from the Soviet Union. Although this independence brought joy to many people, it also brought massive instability and economic turmoil. The economy is finally growing again, but millions of people live in poverty across Ukraine.

Unemployment - Many of the factories and industries that employed people during Soviet times have been closed, leaving people without any means of earning money. Although some people have become very wealthy, most are unemployed.

Poverty - With unemployment and the absence of social programs funded by the government comes poverty. Many people struggle to find enough money to buy food, clothing and medicine for their children.

Collapse of Social Programs - The old socialist day-care programs are long gone, and there is no well-established private industry to meet this need.

Alcoholism and drug abuse - As these problems have grown, so have rates of alcohol and drug abuse. Unfortunately, many children are either abandoned in the hospitals by these mothers or are taken by the state when the mother fails to provide adequately for the child.

Poor medical care leading to early death - Some children become full orphans (both parents are dead) because of a lack of access to health care and the effects of poverty on their parents.

Other social problems - As in our own society, other social problems lead to children living in orphanages. These include abuse and neglect. Sometimes, children are taken by the Ukrainian state in order to provide them with a safe environment.

I am writing primarily about Ukraine because that is where we are adopting from, but here are some other statistics that might get your attention.

143,000,000 orphans in the world today spend an average of 10 years in an orphanage or foster home.  Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but…

            Every year 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans and age out of the system

            Every day 38,493 children age out

Every 2.2 seconds another orphan child ages out with no family to belong to and no place to call home.

Many of these children accept job offers that ultimately result in their being sold as slaves.

Millions of girls are sex slaves today, simply because they were unfortunate enough to grow up as orphans.

How can we as followers of Christ allow this to happen?  Why aren’t we doing something about this?  Aren’t we called to defend those who cannot defend themselves?  Aren’t we commanded to care for the widows and orphans, to be fathers to the fatherless?  Is there something you can do to help children who need help?

Not everybody can adopt children.  Not every home is appropriate for bringing in children who may have had to walk through some very hard places.  But, I believe there are more homes out there who can adopt but aren't because they don't know the severity of the problem.  It simply is not on their radar.  I hope some of this information that I am sharing will get some one's attention enough to start asking if they can.  If they can't, that is fine.  But can they help in another way?  Can you help a family who can and will adopt?  Can you care for their children while they are traveling?  Can you look after their home while they are gone?  Can you help them financially to get there?  The investment in a child's future is worth it!!!  Can you be a strong supporter for them after they get home?  What can you do???

LIFTED

Chris Kyzar, a very dear friend of ours is putting this event together for local families. If you and your family would like to come it will be a great event. They are planning a bonfire, a football game, live music, and a presentation of the gospel from an incredible young man. It will be a great evening to get out and spend quality time with your family. The event is Saturday, November 12th, is 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Admission is completely free. We will be fundraising for our adoption at this event. We will be selling World's Finest Chocolate Covered Almonds for $2 a box.  We will also be selling raffle tickets for an iPad2 for $5.    The drawing will be on December 5.  Another fundraiser we will be doing is raffle tickets for a necklace that was handmade for us.

This beautiful necklace is made of faux pearls and turquoise, real smoky quartz and the tag that says "fisher of men" is hand stamped.  It was hand made by D’Nae Cherry of Celebrations Hand-Stamped Jewelry.  You can check out more of her work on Facebook.  Raffle tickets are $5.00 each.  The drawing will be held on December 15. 

We also have a friend who is making some Christmas ornaments.  If they come in before November 12th we will be selling those as well.  I will post a picture as soon as I have one.

I want to say thank you to everybody who helped us with donations and purchasing tickets for the spaghetti lunch. We cleared roughly about $440 with the cash we collected for that day from donations and ticket sales.  We are that much closer to bringing a girl into our home and giving her a chance to change the course of her future. 

I want to leave you with another great verse that speaks to my heart.  James 1:26-27

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.  Religion that God our Gather accepts as pur and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Challenge yourself this week to think about what you say to and about those around you who might need a word of encouragement instead of words that hurt and degrade.  Be open to the Lord's prompting to help someone in need.  Offer a hand of friendship and the gift of a heartfelt smile to people around you. 

Spaghetti Lunch

One last plea to let me know if you are planning to come to the spaghetti lunch.  We need to put the shopping list together to see how much to buy.  Email me at vltygart@att.net or Facebook me or Lynn Loecher to let us know how many plates you need.  Thank you so much!!!

Clearing things up

I have such great friends!!  I received a phone call tonight from a friend asking me to clear up some information I shared in the October 8 post.  Please be assured that our daughter Alex is doing just fine, she is not the daughter I was referring to when I commented that our daughter died.
Vernon and I have had four children.  All of our children were pretty close in age, Anthony was two years younger than Alex, Mark two years younger than Anthony, and Rebecca was three years younger than Mark.  The day Rebecca was born we were informed that she had Down Syndrome, which had caused her to have a major congenital heart defect.  She had open heart surgery in December of that year at 3.5 months of age.  The surgery was a success and fixed her heart defect.  However, the damage to her pulmonary artery was extensive.  She died five days after surgery, before she had time for her body to adjust to having the heart repaired and start healing. 

We don't always understand what curve balls life will throw at us.  We can't see into the future.  We don't know the number of days we have on this Earth.  I don't know why Rebecca was allowed to graduate from this life into eternity at such a young age.  I really wish I had been given the chance to raise a child blessed with Downs Syndrome.  But I wasn't.  I have been told that the love and joy expressed by children with Down Syndrome is awesome.  I wish my family had never had to experience the grief of adjusting to life without such a beautiful baby girl.  But we did have to deal with it.  All of it made us stronger and taught us more about God's love and mercy than anything had up to that point.

As I mentioned before, after that happened we thought that our family was complete and we would just raise the three children we still had.  We carried on our very normal life for 9 years after Rebecca died without even considering adoption.  But God had different plans.  After adopting Josh we were back up to having four children in our family.  When we complete our current adoption we will have five children.  I love my life and would not have it any other way.  Some days are tough, but the joys far outweigh the struggles. 

My favorite verse of all time is Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."  Vernon and I absolutely must believe that God has plans for us and for our children.  We must call upon the LORD and seek his guidance and direction as we deal with life's difficulties.  Dealing with the death of a child was a tough one.  But God proved himself faithful and carried us through.  Dealing with difficulties at work, with our children, making decisions for our future (and future children) all require us to seek God and rely on Him to tell us what to do to bring about his plans for our future and to show us hope in Him.  People tell me that they just don't know how they would handle some of the things we have had to deal with.  The only answer I have for them is that I can't handle them either.  But I know a God who can handle everything and He loves me and takes care of me when I can't.

I hope this clears up a few things and alleviates some concerns from those who did not know this part of our story.

Where are we now?

I haven't had much time to write this weekend.  I have to help my son prepare for a speech, put an outline together for a school project, and work on some algebra homework this afternoon.  We tried to go out and do some fundraising yesterday but didn't get to do much. I got called in to work for a bit and then had dinner with other couples from the church who have adopted.  All in all, a very busy weekend.

If you are wondering where we are on the adoption now, not much farther than we were the last time I posted.  We are collecting the information we need to finish the home study.  They require a lot of financial documents that take a while to pull together.  We have not received the results of the FBI criminal history check yet, which is required before the home study can be completed. We have filled out our paperwork for United States Immigration Services and are getting it ready to mail this week.  I have my medical exam scheduled for this week and Vernon has his medical exam schedule for the first week in November.  These medical exams are required both for the home study and for the adoption dossier.

So many people ask about how much things cost so I will give you a run down so far.  The home study in Mississippi for international adoptions is about $1400.  We only have to pay half of that this time around since they are classifying our home study as an update instead of doing a whole new one.  The immigration application is $975.  We also need to commit to a translator by making the initial payment of $2000, which needs to be done soon so we can get the official documents from them to start working on.  

For those of you who are planning to attend the spaghetti lunch next Sunday please contact us and let us know.  We have to buy the food this week and right now we don't know how much food to buy.  Lots of people have told us they will be coming but haven't actually purchased their tickets so we don't really even have an estimated head count.  If you could please email us at vltygart@att.net .  Also, I will be generating an adoption update group in my email so that when we are in Ukraine and have specific prayer needs that we can't post publicly on the blog I can send a prayer request to our prayer warriors via email.

Well, off to do homework.  If I had a degree for every time I finished high school I would have 4 and be half way through my 5th.  Just think, I get to start 9th grade all over again when the adoption is complete.  I have to wonder how many college degrees I might have one day!!!  I wonder what degrees I will be helping them get too!!

Why adopt from Ukraine?

Lots of people ask us why we are adopting from Ukraine.  My only solid answer is because that is what God has called us to.  Believe it or not, we never discussed adoption as an option for us until God called us to adopt our son Josh.  We had 4 children biologically, we didn't really need more children.  After our daughter died we really thought that God had planned for us to just have the three children we were raising and the family was complete.  But God had different plans.  Once the decision to adopt had been clarified for us there was a lot of fear in bringing children into a house full of children.  What if they don't get along?  But, God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called (I don't remember where I heard that but I really do believe it).  We are no different than other parents except that we are willing to take a chance with God.  We know that God will weave all of our lives together to bring His plans into full fruition for all of us.  It is amazing to see how God works in building families.  I cannot imagine what life would be like without Josh.  I don't even want to know.  He has added so much to our lives.  I know that the child (children) that God still has for us to adopt will add so much more to our life. 


A lot of people say that since we live in America we should adopt American children.  There are just as many children from America who want and need homes and families as are in Ukraine.  I don't know the statistics of how many orphans are in each country but I am aware that children in America want a home and family too.  There are lots of children in every country on this great big beautiful planet of ours who want and need homes and families.  I really think that everyone who has a serious  interest in whether or not American children are being adopted should be praying about what God is calling them to do about it.  Not everybody is called to adopt, but everybody can help orphans in some way.  There are organizations who work with orphans and children who have been removed from a less than desirable home environment.  Those children may need mentors or foster parents or adoptive parents.  People who can't devote their time may be able to support another family who can.  So, if God has given you a passion for orphans from any country prayerfully consider what that means.

Fundraisers

When we adopted our son we used our savings account and took out a loan to cover the rest.  This time, we don't have the rainy day fund in our savings that we used then.  Since we have already taken out the one loan we really don't want to take out another.  That is the reason for so many fundraisers.  I want to say THANK YOU!!! to all of those who have helped us so far.  So many people have stepped up and asked how they can help us raise the funds for our adoption.  We have had people we don't even know very well step up and sell chocolates for us, people telling us they want to follow us through the process and to make sure we keep them updated (hence the blog and updates on Facebook).  The love people have for orphans and for us is amazing!!  God is showing himself faithful through his people and I am loving every minute of it.  I believe that nobody lives in a bubble.  Nobody raises their children alone.  We all need people.  It takes a whole community to raise a child.  People at church, teachers at school, adults in the neighborhood all help structure the way a child matures and learns about life.  The friends the kids make at church, at school and in the community all have an influence on the opinions a child develops and the decisions they make as they grow into adults, and even into adulthood.   The most important thing I want for my children is to be in a community full of people who are pointing my children to Christ.  That is what we have here in our community.  I am blessed and I believe that this adoption will bring another child (or two) into or home where she can share in the blessings that God has given to us, our church, our school, and our community in general.

So, how can you help?  First, pray.... pray..... pray!!! If God is not leading this ship I don't want to be on it.   Adoption is not easy for the child being adopted nor is it easy for the family bringing a new child into their home.  It will be difficult for my boys to adjust to having a new sister in the house and it will be hard for her to learn how to relate to the boys as brothers.  There will be huge adjustments that must be made by all of us and we need God to be the center of all of those adjustments.  I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength and peace, but without Him I am nothing and can do nothing.  Please pray for us!!!

Second thing you can do to help, the fundraisers.......We are still selling World's Finest Chocolates and tickets for a spaghetti lunch on the 23rd of October. We are hoping it will be a beautiful Sunday afternoon so everybody can come hang out on the deck at Tim and Lynn Loecher's and have lunch with us. The lunch includes all you can eat spaghetti, garlic toast, salad, pudding and tea for only $7 for an adult and $5 for kids under 10. By the way, I need to borrow some tables to set up for the lunch. If you have some that we can borrow please email me. 

We are selling tickets for an Apple iPad 2 for $5 each.  We will be drawing for the iPad on December 5th.  If you would be interested in purchasing tickets you can see us personally or you can use the donate button here on the blog.  If you use the donate button please send me an email to follow up with me to make sure your name and phone number are placed in the bucket for the drawing.  My email is vltygart@att.net. 

One fundraiser we are sill working on putting together is a Christmas Ornament sale.  I have a friend who makes these ornaments herself.  She is coming up with a one-of-a-kind design just for this adoption.  She has a show coming up soon so she can't work on it yet.  I don't know yet what they are going to look like but I know they will be beautiful.  As of right now I have asked to have the size ornaments that will sell for $10 each.  If I can get a picture from her I will post it here on the blog for you to see.

I hope everybody is having a wonderful Saturday!!  It is absolutely beautiful here. 

Update

We have been really busy so I haven't had much time for updating the blog.  Vernon and I took a much needed weekend away to the beach with some friends.  We had a wonderful time!!  The next weekend we went to see my parents and my brother who is back from Afghanistan.  I am so proud of my family, all of my family.

We haven't made too much progress on the adoption as of date.  We have met with our social worker and started the home study.  Our fingerprints that are required for the home study have been done.  We are making plans for our fundraisers.  Currently we are selling World's Finest Chocolates for $2 each; collecting gold and silver jewelry from people who are interested in donating it to be melted down and have us colect the market value for the gold and silver; and selling tickets for a spaghetti lunch for later this month.  Fundraisers in the works include christmas ornaments (let me know if you might be interested in ordering some christmas ornaments so I will have an idea of how many to order), raffle tickets for a necklace, raffle tickets for an I-Pad, considering a yard sale and maybe a coupon sale on Facebook.  We will be putting a PayPal link on the blog soon to sell these items through this blog.  If you have really good ideas for a fund raiser please send me an email or Facebook message. 

I will hopefully be able to put together another question and answer this weekend.  If you have a question you would like for me to answer please email or Facebook message me and I will answer any reasonable question.

I hope everybody is as blessed as I am and will have a great week filled with joy.  If that is not the week you are having, know that God is good and He can turn any circumstance or situation into good.

ARE YOU CRAZY???

The most common question people ask us…. ARE YOU CRAZY????  The answer to that question…. ABSOLUTELY!!!!   We openly admit to being a little of the crazy, odd ball nature.  But, we recognize that adoption is a calling.  It is not something that you just wake up one morning and say I am going to go adopt a child today.  It takes much prayer, then much more prayer, followed by more prayer.  The entire process of adoption must be bathed in prayer daily.  Especially when you consider that our calling for adoption is with teenagers.  I am sure you can all remember the volatility of your teenage years.  The emotions, the drama, the trying to become independent and figure out what direction to take in life as you separate yourself from your parent’s apron strings.  Imagine going through that without having the benefit of all of the lessons your parents taught you over the years.  Imagine having been told that you were nobody special, that you will never be worth anything.  Then throw in the history of maybe having been beaten and unable to trust people because almost everybody you have trusted has hurt you.  Then throw in the fears of moving to a new country, a foreign language, a culture drastically different than your own, and having to learn to live with a family lead by parents who have rules and actively participate in your life.  That is what most of these teenagers that we are adopting are dealing with.  In that mix are the teenagers we already have at the house.  They have their own needs of affirmation and are trying to find their path to the future that God has planned for them.  You probably are no longer asking if we are crazy, you have conclusively made up your mind that we are crazy.  WE DEFINITELY ARE CRAZY!!!!!

But, crazy is not always a bad thing.  Think about the apostles.  How many times do you think people asked them if they were crazy?  Think about leaving everything you know in life to follow a rebel?  Jesus didn’t do everything by the book.  He didn’t follow all of the cultural ways of doing things.  People called him crazy.  The apostles left their families and jobs to walk into the unknown with Jesus.  God hasn’t called us to leave everything we know and walk off into the complete unknown.  He has simply called us to take a trip to the other side of the world and bring home a child who has been called to leave everything she knows to walk into the unknown, just so she can have a family who will love her and support her as she moves into womanhood.  She has dreamed of having a family her whole life, so now God has called us to be the answer to her prayers.  Is it easy??  NO!! It will not be easy for her, it will not be easy for us and it will not be easy for our other children.  Is it worth the effort??  What is a child's life worth?  What is a child's future worth??  Is it worth the stress to put her in a position to receive eternity as her future??  ABSOLUTELY!!

I think it was last week that our pastor spoke a catch phrase that really reverberated in my heart.  He said that one person’s cry for help is another person’s burning bush.  My take on that, as a child cries out to be loved God calls a family to love them.  Crazy as that may sound to some of you, that is often God’s way of doing things.  I am happy to be crazy enough for God to use me.  I pray that more people will be crazy enough to be used by God.

Introduction

Vernon and I have prayed intensely about adopting again.  We believe that God has spoken to our hearts and is leading us to definitely adopt a teenage girl from the same orphanage in Ukraine that we adopted our son Joshua from.  We are still praying for confirmation of whether God is calling us for a second child.  Please be in prayer with us as we seek God for confirmation.

Vernon and I have been married 22 years.  Our daughter Alex is 21, our son Anthony is 19, our son Mark is 17, and our son Josh is 16.  We are beginning the process of adopting again.  Many of our friends have stated that they are curious about the adoption process and would love to follow all of what is going on as we walk through another journey of adoption.  That is why we are setting up this blog.  I hope you will enjoy this journey with us.

As for where we are in the process, we are just beginning.  So far we have submitted an application for a home study update.  We have a meeting with the social worker this week to actually start the home study.  Chocolates have been purchased from World’s Finest Chocolates to sell.  Friends have offered to collect silver and gold from our friends to melt down and make new jewelry, giving us the market price for the silver and gold.  We are planning a spaghetti lunch for October 23^rd, so those of you who are local and would be interested in joining us for lunch keep that afternoon open.  I will let you know when we have a price set and tickets for sale.  Also, if anybody has great ideas for fundraisers please let us know.  We are expecting adoption expenses to range from $25,000 to $30,000 for two children.  This includes home study fees, immigration application fees, airline tickets, living expenses in Ukraine for at least 6 weeks, translation fees, and many other expenses that may arise.

When we adopted our son Joshua in 2009 a lot of people asked lots of questions.  I will start answering some of those questions as I begin filling in my blog as we travel the path that God has laid before us.  If you have any questions you would like to have answered please let me know.  I will answer everybody’s questions as honestly as I can.  Thank you for checking in with us.