Wonderful Day

It has been an absolutely beautiful day.  I slept in a bit this morning.  I was up until 1:30 am Odessa time talking to all of my guys so I was really tired when I went to sleep.  It is not often I get to sleep until 9 am.  I got up and did a few things around the apartment, worked a little, checked in on Facebook and emails.  All-in-all a very relaxing morning.


I walked to the orphanage at the prearranged time to visit with our daughter.  The weather was a bit on the warm side, but beautiful.  Anybody who is planning to come to Ukraine please make sure you bring some walking shoes and hydrate well during the summer. The air here is dryer than in Mississippi.  


The visit went very well today.  Our daughter seemed more excited this afternoon than I have seen before.  She will have to officially make her decision on Thursday.  It is very good for her to have a few days to really evaluate her decision.  If we were adopting a toddler it would be a matter for the courts to decide if the child's placement with the parents is best for the child.  However, we are not adopting a toddler.  We are adopting a teenager, a young woman with a mind of her own; her own opinions, strengths, weaknesses, fears, pains, and everything else.  It is a big choice for her to make.  Can you imagine being 16 and having to agree to move to a foreign country where you don't speak the language and don't know anything about the culture with parents who you don't know but will be making decisions for you?  Could you leave all of your friends who have been there with you in the orphanage, the ones who have experienced some of the same pains you have?  Could you go to a public high school in a foreign country with all of the drama of teenage high school life going on around you and you don't understand it?  I don't know if I could, yet I am here asking her to do that.  How I would love to be inside her head hearing her thoughts.  How I would love to know her fears so I could help alleviate them and make her feel safe.  I  know that life will be hard for her but it will be worth the struggles.  I know what is waiting for her on the other side of the ocean.  But she does not, yet she must choose "yes" or "no" to take me up on the offer of a "forever family".  I watched our son struggle through a lot of this when we adopted him.  Now I will have to watch our daughter struggle through.  It pains my heart to see them have to struggle so hard for something so many people take for granted.  God has said in His word that he will not leave us as orphans, that He will come for us.  We have a hard time turning it all over to God, the creator of all things in this world.  How hard must it be for an orphan to turn it all over to imperfect parents?  Please be praying for peace in her heart as she makes this decision on Thursday.  She needs the wisdom and comfort of our Heavenly Father guiding her thoughts and her words.  I also ask that you pray the same for me and the rest of the adoption process.


Some of the girls in our area who have been adopted from Ukraine are intending to write letters to our daughter to tell her about the things they struggled with.  I think that is a very sweet gesture from the girls.  I may try to get them to her tomorrow.


Thank you very much.  I hope you have a great afternoon and evening.

I am in Odessa

Good morning to you all from Odessa!!  I made it here yesterday.  We dropped our bags at our apartment and then ran all day.  We had our first appointment with a social worker at 9 am, which took a while.  Then we drove to the orphanage and visited with the director and our daughter for a while.  They agreed to allow me to visit with our daughter each day through the holidays and we will resume taking care of business on Thursday.  I visited with her alone yesterday afternoon for a while.  She is full of questions and has lots of things to think about.


After that visit was finished I rode the bus downtown and met some friends at McDonald's and then more friends met us at the opera.  I have never been to an opera before so it was very interesting.  There were some really random things in a couple of scenes that really took me by surprise.  One of my friends said that it was an unusual opera and that I would find some of the really good ones much more interesting.  


I really enjoy being back in Odessa.  It is a beautiful city and the weather is wonderful for walking.  If you are ever in Ukraine this is one place you should come to visit.


I am getting ready to leave for church.  I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

SDA Success

The SDA has granted us approval to go visit our daughter in her orphanage.  There was no waiting line when we arrived at the building.  They called us right in when we got there and were immediately taken back to an office to meet with one of the agents.  I think we were her first appointment of the day.  The lady who handled our case this morning was so friendly and nice.  They pulled her file, asked a few questions, called the orphanage where our daughter lives to verify that she is there, and then agreed that we would be able to go visit her.  We will have to go tomorrow to pick up our referral papers.  Tomorrow night we will ride the overnight train to the city where our daughter lives.  Tuesday and Wednesday are official holidays in Ukraine, so the government has made Saturday a work day so people can take off Monday too.  That means, if all goes well, there is a possibility that we could get things put in place to meet our daughter on Saturday after we arrive in her city.  Please pray with me that we will have favor and everything will fall into place for us to meet on Saturday.  If that doesn't happen I will not get to meet my new daughter until Thursday, the first working day of the week after the holidays.  

Thank you for your prayers and your support.  

 

I am in Kiev

Well, I am finally in Kiev.  It wasn't easy getting here, but I made it.  The first leg of my trip went great.  The plane arriving for my second leg of the trip was delayed because of weather and that threw off the entire rest of my trip.  I missed my connection to go across the Atlantic, stood in line for three hours to get my tickets reassigned, which caused me to miss three more flights that would have gotten me to where I needed to go.  Finally, the agent found a ticket through Paris that was going to Kiev and put me on that plane just in time.  With all of the changes, my luggage was nowhere to be found.  Please pray that my luggage arrives in Kiev before I leave on Friday night.  I would really like for my luggage to get here.  When my son and I came to visit last summer they lost our luggage on the trip to Ukraine and it has not yet been found.  We spent the entire two weeks here with only two sets of clothes each, one to wear and one to wash.  I hope my current luggage does not experience the same fate.  Note to those of you who will be following after me in adoption:  Pack all that you need for the first few days, to include your SDA appointment, in your carry on luggage.  I am so glad I did that this time.  Also, pack clothes that can be easily hand washed and will dry relatively quickly.  Not every apartment has a washing machine and heavy clothes take a long time to air dry.


I had intended to post on the blog over the weekend, but I simply did not have time.  I had to finish painting our daughter's room and we got about half of the floor laid down.  I did not get to finish with the dresser I was working on.  I guess Vernon or one of the boys will have to take care of that stuff for me.  I will be excited to see the finished product when I return home.


Several people have inquired about our funds.  With all that we saved, all of the fundraisers and the donations God has blessed us beyond measure.  With the exception of the plane tickets we have all of the money we think we will need.  I put my ticket on a credit card and pulled the money we had left in our adoption fund out in cash to bring with me.  If all goes as planned I am hoping to have everything covered.  Thank you so much for serving God by helping bring an orphan into a family to call her own forever.  I pray that you will each be blessed as much, or even more, than we have been throughout this adoption process.  Note to those of you working on an adoption:  Notify your bank a few weeks before you think you will be leaving that you need to have a certain amount of money in new, or at least in excellent condition.  The exchange places prefer the money to be in really good shape or they will give you a lower exchange rate and may even refuse to accept it if it is torn or messed up more than they like.


I am getting really sleepy now so I think I will go sleep off some more of this jet lag.  I hope you will all have a great day!  I will post more after we go to the SDA appointment tomorrow morning.  If you think about us say a prayer on our behalf (my appointment time is about 2:00 am Central Time zone). 

The rest of the story

Well, it is middle of the night and I can't sleep.  I just have too much on my mind.  Imagine that!!!  So, I thought I would post on the blog and finish the story I started last time, but from a different perspective.  If you see lots of mistakes, please forgive me. I am not usually up at this time of night (morning) and my brain may not be quite up to speed. I hope you will be able to get my point by the time I finish.


Before I start with the story, I just want to let you know that I have reserved tickets to fly out on the 23rd of April and will arrive in Kiev on the 24th.  It is a long trip and I appreciate your prayers for safe and smooth travels.  When Josh and I went to Ukraine this past summer the airlines lost our luggage on the way over.  We spent two weeks in Ukraine with two outfits each.  That was not fun at all!!!  I really don't want to lose my luggage again, so I would appreciate your prayers that my luggage will also have a safe and smooth trip, and will be reconnected with me when I disembark in Kiev.


Now for the story.  We did not tell our son that he was being adopted until we got to Ukraine and had the referral papers on hand.  So he did not know anything about us starting the process in 2006 and being turned down for adoption in the spring of 2007.  Josh told me later, after our communication had improved, that he knew he had not been a good boy and didn't deserve to be adopted so he didn't think anybody would ever come for him.  Can you imagine thinking that you were so bad as child that nobody would ever want you??  That just breaks my heart.  Needless to say, he was totally blown away when we said that we were there to adopt him in 2009.  Initially Josh very unsure about it all.  He really had to think on it for a while and talk to his aunt before he would say yes or no.  Finally, he made the decision that he wanted to be adopted by us and move to America to live with our family.  I simply can't imagine life without him in our family.  I believe he made the right choice. :)  


After Josh learned enough English to communicate more easily with us, we talked to him about his adoption.  He told us that he and his family were very suspicious of our motives for adopting a child when we already had three children.  It was frightening to hear all of those horror stories about people adopting children and abusing them, locking them up, or even selling them in the sex trafficking trade.  But, since he had met me in 2008 and felt that I had a good heart and would have good intentions for him, he thought it would be good to come with us.  Josh also asked why we did not tell him in advance that we were adopting him.  I explained to him about how we had submitted an application for him and was turned down by the old agency for adoptions so we did not want to disappoint him if we were turned down again.  In fact, up until the day we boarded the plane there were rumors that the Ukrainian government was going to stop international adoptions again and restructure and improve the agencies in the government that handled orphan care and adoptions.  The restructuring did occur, but not by completely stopping adoptions.  We can only Praise Jesus that the adoption processes remained intact so that we could complete the adoption and bring him home.  


Josh understood our point and could agree that it might be difficult to think you are being adopted by a family to then be told that they were not approved to adopt.  He then told us that if we had been approved on our original application and arrived in Ukraine in the spring of 2007, he would not have agreed to be adopted.  He was still young and would have been too scared to accept, and his family would have fought hard to prevent his adoption.  We were stunned.  If we had forced the adoption back then, resubmitting and continuing with the process, we might not have Josh with us now.  My mind and heart just can't go there.


Being able to look back on it all now, we clearly see how God worked it all out.  What we thought were stumbling blocks or closed doors turned out to be critical positioning points to put us, as individuals and as a family, in the right position to succeed in reaching the goal God had placed before us.  God called us to adopt and we followed through.  It took us two tries, but we did do what God called us to.  God taught us so much about just saying "YES" to His call throughout the adoption process.  It was not easy at all.  Adoption is like a huge roller coaster with very steep inclines with high peaks and very steep and fast declines.  We had to grow strong enough in our faith to withstand the challenges that go along with that kind of a ride.  God didn't permanently close the door of adoption, he only kept it closed long enough for everybody to be ready.  Josh had to reach a point where he could look forward enough to see (or hope for) the future that lay before him with a family to call his own forever.  Our family had to grow enough to accept someone completely different from us living in our home.  God showed himself faithful to us and gave us peace and strength through it all.  There have been many challenges along the way; adjustment issues, personality conflicts, misunderstandings, hurts and pains throwing kinks into things we thought would be easier, and all kinds of things that we all had to face head on.  On the flip side of that, there have been many wonderful times filled with laughter and joy.  We have been able to watch (in awe most of the time) as our son is blossoming and becoming the man that God intended him to be.  God has walked us through it all!!!  Only He can orchestrate as complex as putting our family together the way he has.


Now, here we are, riding the adoption roller coaster all over again.  We have said "Yes", as long as God is the one doing the driving.

Comment from Jes

I must apologize for my lack of attention to technology.  I thought I was saving drafts of my last post, but it turns out it was publishing my "drafts".  I have deleted two of the drafts so that I only have one post about the appointment.  In the process of deleting the drafts I deleted the comment that Jessica made.  So, Jessica I will answer your questions here. 

First let me say that I really appreciate the prayers and support that everybody is giving us.  The first time we adopted we did not have so much support.  People actually told us we were crazy and they didn't think we should adopt.  Even close friends were opposed to our adoption.  They were praying for us, but all in all, we didn't feel that we had as much love and support and encouragement as we feel that we have this time.  So now, I can't say thank you enough.  It means more to me that you can even imagine to know that so many people are really backing us and praying to our Holy God on our behalf. 

Now, to the questions you asked.  You asked if we are adopting with an agency or independent and if we had been to Ukraine before.  We are adopting independent with the assistance of the translators we used last time.  Our translators are Kostya and Vanya.  Their web site is http://ukraineadoption.org/ if you are interested in checking them out.  They did such a great job and helped us so much that we wanted to use their services again this time.  We had tried to adopt our son back in 2006 with a different translator and our application was rejected.  That translator came down hard on us and made it out to be our fault that our application was turned down and told us we should have done a better job of checking everything.  It was our first time, so we didn't have a clue what would be acceptable in Ukraine or what would be rejected.  We had a US person review our application before we sent it to him and that person had given us the OK.  We thought it was all good.  We felt like, if he was the professional who does this for a living he should have caught anything that would not be accepted when he was doing the translation.  When we found that our application to adopt had been turned down, we were in the middle of a family crisis so we made the decision to wait to resubmit until things were going better at home.  Then, the Ukrainian government halted all international adoptions for a period of time.  We thought that maybe God was throwing some kinks in there to tell us not to adopt.  Our prayer was that if God was not the one leading us to adopt that he would stop the adoption by closing doors that we cannot open.  The Ukrainian government completely closing down international adoptions is obviously a door we can't open.  So we waited for a long time, even after Ukraine re instituted international adoptions, still knowing that we were supposed to do something for him but not knowing what.  In 2008 a friend of mine was going on a trip to Ukraine to meet the son she was working on adopting.  She asked my daughter, who was still in high school at the time, to go with her.  I pretty much said you are not going to Ukraine without me.  So I went to Ukraine with my friend and daughter.  Once I met the kids at the orphanage I fell in love with so many of them.  We stayed with a missionary and visited the orphanage almost every day to just love on the kids.  It was during that visit that I met my son for the first time.  After meeting him, my daughter and I both just knew that we had to begin the adoption process again.  I went home from that visit and told my husband that we had to bring him home, he was supposed to be in our family as our son.  We started the process all over again.  We traveled to Ukraine in June of 2009 and returned at the end of July with our son.  It was an amazing trip, an amazing experience, and all glory goes to an amazing God who walked us through every step. 

You mentioned that you will be hoping to submit your dossier soon, so you have peaked my curiosity.  Are you blogging?  If so, please send me your blog address so I can follow along.  Where in Ukraine are you adopting from?  I would love to hear your story as well.

Thanks for following along.

We have an appointment!!!!

I received email notification today that we have an appointment for April 26th!!!!  I am SOOOOOO excited!!!! We received notice last week that we were approved to adopt but we thought we would find out yesterday when our appointment was.  Our appointment was not assigned yesterday, so I was anxiously waiting to hear from my translator today.  I nearly jumped out of my seat when I saw that there was an email from him.  It is really nice to finally have a definitive date.


So now, I have so much to do in such a short period of time.  We still have not painted the bedroom or finished refinishing the dresser for our daughter's room. I am hoping that will get done this weekend.  I still have to book my tickets and start packing.  Hopefully the tickets will get booked tomorrow.  The packing will be done over several days. :) I still have a few things to pick up for the trip, so I will also have to do some shopping.  We have most of the money in the bank, so I will have to make arrangements for the bank to get new bills for me to take.  I should get a call tomorrow to let me know when to expect that to be available.  I have tried to get everything at work done so that it will be as painless as I can make it for my co-workers.  I am sure I will forget something, I typically do.


Thank you so much for helping us financially, praying for us and supporting us as we proceed through this adoption.  We really appreciate all that our friends and family have done for us and share with us.  We love you all.

No appointment yet

We still have not received notification of our approval and appointment date.  It is hard to wait and wait with no information coming.  I know that all will happen in God's timing.  He is laying the path before me and I will follow that path when the timing is right.  God is never too early, and never too late.  


The finances are falling into place.  We have received donations and have saved money at every chance.  The amount we have still need is around $5,000.  Thank you so much to everybody who has given us their donations and support for the adoption.  We sincerely appreciate all that everybody is doing to help us.


We have made some progress in preparing the bedroom we are preparing for our daughter.  The carpet is out and the walls are being prepared for painting.  I have never refinished furniture before, but I am trying to do that now with an old dresser we have not been using for some time.  I hope it will be pretty and look well done when I get finished.  It certainly won't be good if it looks like very poor work when I get done.  I am learning a lot as I go along.